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Old Time Religion (2)
It's no good for Billy Graham
It's no good for Billy Graham
It scares Hell out of Billy Graham
But it's good enough for me.
We will have a mighty orgy
In the honor of Astarte
It'll be one helluva party
And that's good enough for me.
We'll be met by Aphrodite,
She looks gorgeous in her nightie
She's kind of wild and flighty
But she's good enough for me.
There will be a lot of lovin'
When we're meeting in our coven,
Quit your pushin' and your shovin'
So there's room enough for me.
It was good enough for Sappho
With her Lady on her lap-o
She put Lesbos on the map-o
With her Pagan Poetry.
We will go and worship Hermes
Though his staff is full of wormies
He protects us from the germies
And that's good enough for me.
We will bow and worship Bacchus
And get mighty loud and racchus
Then we'll lay us down and facchus
And that's good enough for me.
We will go and worship Thor
He makes all the women sore
But they soon come back for more
And that's good enough for me.
We will all be saved by Mithras
We will all be saved by Mithras
Slay the Bull, and play the Zithras
On that resurrection day.
It was good enough for Loki
It was good enouqh for Loki
He thinks Thor's a little hokey
And he's good enough for me.
We will all go to Nirvana
We will all go to Nirvana
Make a left turn at Savannah
And we'll see the Promised Land
It was good for Old Jehovah
He had a son who was a Nova
Hey there, Mithras move on ova'
A new resurrection day.
I hear Valkyries a-coming
In the air their song is coming
They forgot the words-- they're humming
Yet they're good enough for me.
There are those who when they've got E
Normous problems that are knotty,
Just refer them to Hecate,
And that's good enough for me.
There was a time, so I've heard tell a
Fine, upstanding, strong young fella,
Gave his all to serve Cybele
And that's good enough for me.
As the waning year is ending,
Young and old souls now are blending,
Voices round the circle sending
Samhain joy across the worlds.
Through the endless night we shiver,
Flames around the Yule log quiver
As we aim to praise the Giver
Of the Sun on Solstice Morn.
Pagans gather in the clearing
For the end of winter's nearing
And the maiden is appearing
Bringing promises of spring
Light and darkness stand together
Leafing birch and flow'ring heather
Brethren clad in fur and feather
Tell us spring has come again
We will all do praise to Horus
In an old Egyptian chorus
If there's something in it for us
Then it's good enough for me
Do the rites of old Cthulhu
You and me and Mr. Sulu
Howling like a drunken Zulu
And it's good enough for me
We will all sacrifice to Kali
Though embracing her is folly
She'd be quite an armful - golly
And she's good enough for me
It was good for old Osirus
But what I want to inquire is
Can you xerox a papyrus?
And it's good enough for me
It was good for Dionysis
Till one time there came a crisis
From a rise in tavern prices
And it's good enough for me
Well, Pan's pipes got clogged last summer
And it really was a bummer
Fin'ly had to call the plumber
But it's good enough for me
Necronomicon? I'll buy one
Liber Eibon I'll reply on
And the Protocols of Zion
They're all good enough for me.
We had better worship Neptune,
We had better worship Neptune,
If we don't we'll all be wet soon,
And that's good enough for me.
It was good for Bilbo Baggins
It was good for Bilbo Baggins
Treasure sometimes comes with dragons
But it's good enough for me.
You can keep your saints and Halos
Myrrh, frankincense and aloes
Let's toss virgins in volcanoes
And that's good enough for me.
If you pray to Old Uranus
Then your crime is truly heinous
You can stick it in your songbook
'Cause it's good enough for me.
Let us all join with the Dryads
Let us all join with the Dryads
Trees may not quite be the Triad
But they're good enough for me.
Michael Valentine is grokking
Clothing usage he is a-topping
"Thou art God" the phrase he's dropping
And I'm good enough for me.
We will venerate the Buddha
We will venerate the Buddha
He ain't quite the Lion of Judah
But he's good enough for me.
Always be polite to Witches
Always be polite to Witches
If you cross them they are bitches
And they throw some nasty spells.
Oh the ancient goddess Herthus
From herself the earth did birth us
Were her sins so bad they're worth us?
And she's good enough for me.
The Episcopals are sav'ed
In the Lamb's blood they are bathed
While I'm totally depraved
And it's good enough for me.
That old wondrous fairy - Morgan,
Could appreciate an organ
Just as long as it was workin'
Tho' her prices weren't free
Necronomicon's still leading
All the others it's exceeding
But don't move your lips when reading
'Cause that isn't good for you
We will worship old Osirus
As we sit and smoke Papyrus
We will prob'ly catch a virus
But it's good enough for me.
If you think these verses floor us
Then just write another chorus
Just as long as you don't bore us
Then it's good enough for me.
There's a blacksmith god, --Hephaestus
Far ahead of all the rest o'us
And his balls are pure asbestos
But he's good enough for me.
Now there was this wizard, Merlin,
Really kept the world a-twirlin'
Til he got mixed up in girlin'
But he's good enough for me.
If your rising sign is Aries,
You'll be taken by the fairies,
Meet the Buddha in Benares
Where he'll hit you with a pie.
We will venerate Bubastes
We will venerate Bubastes
If you like us, then just ask us
And that's good enough for me.
We will read from the Cabala
We will read from the Cabala
It won't get you in Valhalla
Yet it's good enough for me
It was Gerald wrote the ditty
And Al Crowley made it pretty
Ain't traditional one bitty
But it's good enough for me
Let us not forget Puck
Let us take a leaping fuck
Let us wade on through the muck
And it's good enough for me
We will even worship Hades
Though he dwells among the shades
He still picks up pretty ladies
And he's good enough for me
Let's all hug our earthy mother
There is nothing that I'd druther
She's better than any other
And that's good enough for me
We will all practice tantra
Groans and grunts will be our mantra
There's nothing that you can't'a
It's good enough for me
There are frogs out in the Abyss
Armed with athame and Labrys
They are green and rather scabrous
But they're good enough for me
Well, the Japanese use Shinto
There's no telling what they're in to
It helps them outsell the pinto
And that's good enough for me
We will bow down to Cuchulain
He's got all the women droolin'
Tell you brother, I'm not foolin
And that's good enough for me
Oh the Christians are a humming
'Cause they say their God is Comin'
But our God has come two times tonight
And the Goddess at least three
And the Brave Illuminati
Can hail Eris in a body
Though we think they're rather dotty
They're fun enough for me
We will worship old Poseidon
And the dolphin he's a-ridin'
Though it has a scaly hide on
Still that is good enough for me
We will run the Lupercalia
With our leather paraphernalia
Substitute for genitalia,
That's not good enough for me
We will all go worship Loki
And he'll tell a dirty jokie
And get locked up in the pokey
But that's good enough for me,
We will worship like the druids
Drinking strange fermented fluids
Dancing naked through the wo-ods
But that's good enough for me,
We will worship Good Old Buddha
Of the gods, there are none cutah
Comes in silver, brass or pewtah
And that's good enough for me,
It was good enough for Thor
I can hear his thunder roar
Or maybe it's his snore
But it's good enough for me.
There's the God who is a monkey
His behavior's kind of funky
But he makes a lousy bunkie
Still he is good enough for me.
We will sacrifice to Kali
Though her Thugs don't act too pally
When you meet them in an alley
She's still good enough for me.
We will all go worship Juno
For there is one thing we do know
She did not burn Brother Bruno
Which is good enough for me,
We will all go worship Vesta
For her cooking is the best a
All the food at the fiesta
Which is good enough for me.
We will visit with the Sidhe [mispronounciation!, does not rhyme]
And we'll drink until we're giddy
Leave behind Gordon Liddy
Which is good enough for me.
We will even worship Yoda
Who is small as an iota
But fulfills his jedi quota
Which is good enough for me
We will praise the gods of Hagar
At a sort of Nordic seder
Buy the sacraments from Zabar
And that's good enough for me
We will hoist a mighty flagon
To the Glory of old Dagon
And we won't go on the wagon
Which is good enough for me.
We will bow down to the goddess
As she wears her Cretan bodice
And the women cry "Come prod us"
Which is good enough for me
When we gather with Astarte
It will be a noisy party
For the loving will be hearty
And that's good enough for me
Here's to Shakespeare's Setebos
From the South American Coast
To Caliban, he is the most
And he's good enough for me
Well, those Christians are all humming
Cause they say their God is coming;
Our God came three times this evening;
That's good enough for me.
Let us sing to Mother Hera,
Papa Zeus had best beware-a,
'Cause his wife's a holy terror --
That's good enough for me.
Let us sing one verse to Shiva
Because it made me a believer
When I saw Parvati's beaver --
It's good enough for me.
Let us sing to Mother Isis:
She's no female Dionysus,
Jut she's okay in a crisis --
She's good enough for me.
Let's wave bye-bye to Jehovah,
'Cause his age is almost over --
Patriarchal pigs in clover
Ain't good enough for me.
You can read of King Osiris
And his death-by-kinship virus
In some moldy old papyrus --
That's good enough for me.
Old Jehovah wants your foreskin --
So Jehovah wants your foreskin?
What good to him's one more skin?
It's good enough on me
Let us raise a toast to Bacchus,
We will raise a royal ruckus --
When we'll lay us down and fuck us --
That's good enough for me.
There's an Ibis-headed cutie,
Keeplng records is his duty,
And his name's Tahuti-Frutti --
That's good enough for me.
And we'll even sing to Moses,
Though his law's no bed of roses.
Let him pay us what he owes us --
That's good enough for me.
With your trusty old athame
You can blast a double whammy --
Or slice and dice salami --
That's good enough for me.
There's that bathing beauty, Venus --
She'd just love to lay between us.
(There's two ways to take a penis --
Both good enough for me!)
There are those who practice Voodoo
There are those who practice voodoo
I know I do: I hope you do
That's good enough for me
It may look like knife and chalice,
It may look like knife and chalice
But it's really quim and phallus --
That's good enough for me.
We have lots of fun at Samhain,
Everyone has fun at Samhain --
Except perhaps a cowan --
But that's okay by me.
Well she raised an awful flurry
When she made the scholars worry
Thank the gods for Margaret Murray
She's good enough for me.
At Prodea we're artistic.
And a trifle egoistic
But above all lesbianistic
Its good enough for me.
There are some that say its scary
When the Papists pray to Mary
Her son may be a fairy
But she's good enough for me
Well it made me a believer
When I met that old man Shiva
And his Cannibls Sativa
It's good enough for me.
Let us go and worship Loki
He's the old Norse god of chaos
Which is why this verse doesn't rhyme or scan --
But it's good enough for me.
Well I tried to read the Koran
Like some macho Muslim moron
But it's just too goddam borin'
Not good enough for me.
All this Muslim hype on Allah
Is immensely hard to swallah
I myself prefer Damballah
That's good enough for me.
When you go to worship Odin
You don't need a tie or coat on
You just slap a little woad on
So it's good enough for me.
It was good enough for granny
She could cast a double whammy
That would knock you on your fanny
So it's good enough for me.
It's the fruit of all my training
And it don't need no explaining
Now if it would just stop raining
It's good enough for me
Jerry Falwell says he's sav-ed
In the lamb's blood he is bath-ed
And he thinks that I'm deprav-ed
But that doesn't bother me
Paganism's our life's spices
The old God of man entices
So just ankh if you love Isis
And that's good enough for me
Let us sing a verse for Alison
A pagan without malice and
She's California's talisman
She's good enough for me
Here is one thing that I do know
Jove's favorite is Juno
'Cause she's awfully good at - you know
And that's good enough for me.
Don't forget about great Isis
She'll stand by us in a crisis
And she hasn't raised her prices
So she's good enough for me.
Thanks to great Quetzalcoatl
And the sacred Axolotl
For the gift of chocolotl
And please pass some on to me.
We'll sing praises to Apollo
Where the Sun God leads we'll follow
Tho' his head's a little hollow
He's good enough for me.
Let us gather in our saunas-
When the spirit comes upon us
To perform the rites of Faunus
That's good enough for me.
When you go to California
Pagans there'll jump upon ya
Well don't say I didn't warn ya
You heard it first from me.
We will all bow down to Lilith
'Cause she doeth what she willith
When she willth Lilith killith
But it's good enough for me.
When we all bowed down to Nuit
There was really nothing to it
Uncle Alex made us do it
That's good enough for me.
It's not good enough for Reagan
It's not good enough for Reagan
He's too square to be a Pagan
But it's good enough for me.
Nous nous appellons Druides
Et nous sommes de l'Atlantide
C'est peut-etre un peu stupide
Mais c'est bon mon avis
(We call ourselves Druids
We come from Atlantis
Maybe that's stupld, but
It's good enough for me.)
Meeting at the Wltching Hour
By the Bud and Branch and Flower
Folks are raising up the power
And that's where I want to be.
Note: Mo' yet. Pretty soon we'll put a moratorium on these.
AB, SOF
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!