Happy Dick (M. Wood Hill) Whence comes it, neighbor Dick, That you with youth uncommon, Have served the girls this trick And married an old woman? Happy Dick! Each belle condemns the choice Of a youth so gay and sprightly; But we, your friends, rejoice, That you have judged so rightly; Happy Dick! Beauty, we know, will fade, As doth the short liv'd hour; Nor can the fairest maid Insure her bloom an hour: Happy Dick! Then wisely you resign For sixty, charms so transient; As the curious value coin The more for being ancient: Happy Dick! With joy your spouse shall see The fading beauties round her, And she herself still be The same that first you found her: Happy Dick! Oft is the married state With jealousies attended; And hence through foul debate, Are nuptial joys suspended: Happy Dick! But you with such a wife, No jealous fears are under; She's yours alone for life, Or much we all shall wonder: Happy Dick! Her death would grieve you sore, But let not that torment you; My life, she'll see fourscore, If that will but content you! Happy Dick! On this you may rely, For the pains you took to win her, She'll ne'er in childbed die, Unless the d---l's in her: Happy Dick! Some have the name of hell, to matrimony given; How falsely you can tell, Who found it such a heaven: Happy Dick! With you each day and night, Is crown'd with joy and gladness; While envious virgins bite Their heated sheets for madness: Happy Dick! With spouse long share the bliss Y'had miss'd in any other; And when you've buried this, May you have such another: Happy Dick! Observing hence, by you, In marriage such decorum, Our wiser youth shall do As you have done before 'em Happy Dick! DS
Thanks to Mudcat for the Digital Tradition!